Stories - Chapter 38
The Jerk
“I was born … a poor black child.” Wait, that was Steve Martin! I was born in Knoxville, Tennessee, in 1947. I still have the hospital bill, $52, which included the doctor. We lived there until 1954, when we moved to Hilo, Hawaii (which was still a territory then), pretty much on a whim by our parents. I had a younger brother by then and our Dad was offered a better job by our cousin, Bill, who grew up on the Big Island. My brother and I lived an idyllic life there, going to school barefooted, and swimming year round. After two years, our Mother got homesick and we moved back to K-town. We lived in a rural area, Maryville, locally pronounced “Murrvile”, where we could ride horses and roam freely. In 1957, Dad got a better job, and we moved to Jacksonville, Florida.
This was a letdown to say the least, after Hawaii and a farm, living in an urban environment. I made the best of it and made good grades and was on the School Boy Patrol. I really wasn’t happy, though and longed for something better. In 1959, we moved to Jacksonville Beach a few blocks from the ocean. Now things were looking up! I did well in school and was elected class president twice. I joined the local volunteer beach lifeguards and grew up fast. I still wasn’t really happy though.
After dropping out of University of Virginia, and attending Junior College, I was arrested for possession of marijuana, and spent a year on probation. The day I was released, August 18, 1968, I was on a plane for California. After three eventful years, I continued on to Honolulu, where I spent another eventful three years.
Things were rolling along until Cupid struck, and I moved back to Sacramento to be with a tourist girl, Sharon Hodel, I had met while driving a taxi on Oahu. After a year, we moved back to Florida to seek our fortune there. Our relationship ended, as many do, and I was again somewhere I really didn’t want to be. However, I had a good support system, and despite several failed attempts to leave, I worked and lived there until 2017, when my wife, Karen, and I moved to the mountains of North Carolina.
I immediately felt at home in the mountains. I missed the ocean somewhat, but Appalachia made up for it. I never felt at home in Florida, although I spent most of my life there. I now feel that Jacksonville was a duty station for me, somewhere God wanted me to be. I am grateful to be where I am now, and hope to pass away peacefully in a rocker on my front porch. I have done my duty and am ready to enjoy life and move on to whatever comes next. Peace, Light, and Love
- June 14, 2022
Bucking the System
I finished this book in the Fall of 2021. After receiveing feedback I revised it twice and it is now in the 3rd printing of 50 copies. Below is a letter I send to anyone I think might be interested.
6/6/2022
Dear Sir/Madam,
According to my college business professor, there are three phases of a project: planning, execution, and control. Planning is by far the most important phase. Our world has been operating under a feudal plan since people began gathering in societies. Even today, kings have been replaced by billionaires and authoritarian rulers. In plain terms, this is why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
We are fighting the same battles for social justice that our ancestors fought and that our descendants will fight, unless we change to a more equitable system. History repeats itself because times change, but human nature remains the same. I have written a short book, with resources, confirming this. The book is called Bucking the System, and is available for $15. Fifteen dollars covers the cost of printing, mailing, and free copies to those who can’t afford to pay.
The way forward, if the human race is to evolve, is to have better leaders and better education. Leaders must care for the people they lead more than their own agendas. Education must teach critical thinking and the need for civic involvement.
There are many, who are invested in the current system, who will resist change. Only one third of American colonists supported the American Revolution. Change may not happen in our lifetime. But as Moses did not get to the promised land, those of us alive today may not live to see change. Those of us who believe in social justice must forge ahead regardless. Jesus said, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” That sounds like a worthy mission to me. - David
Control
My mother and Dad were good people who did their best to raise me and my two siblings to be moral and hard working. My Dad took out a loan to buy me clothes to go to college. After I was out on my own, every other letter from my Mom was either when are you going to finish college, or when are you going to get married?
Having said that, I inherited a codependent personality from them and the other older members of our family. Controlling behavior is a primary characteristic of codependent behavior. It was rampant in our family and to some extent still is today. My sister and I are aware of our tendency to be controlling and manage it best we can. My brother believes life happens and just rolls with it. He naturally tries hard to be a good person and gets along pretty good and has a happy life.
I never had a lasting relationship with a girl until I got into counseling at age 41. My counselor was into spiritual psychology, which addresses codependent behavior. I always thought in the back of my mind that there was something missing, something askew, in my life, but I never could put my finger on it. When I read a book called Recovering from Rescuing, by Jacqueline Castine, the light bulb came on, and I charted a new course in my life.
I have been happily married now for nearly 30 years. I try hard to manage myself and not be controlling. However I have to give a lot of credit to my wife, Karen, for putting up with me.
May, 2022
Smoky the Cat - 7/2004 - 7/2022
Karen spelled her name Smokey and I spelled it Smoky. We never got on the same page with this. It seemed to be a way we showed independence from each other.
One of the things Smoky did in later years was to stand in the shower with Karen and complain about getting wet. She was also more affectionate and liked to be on the couch with us then.
How I found her: I was cleaning Marlene Tucker’s swimming pool in Atlantic Beach in July of 2004. She was part of a feral brood of cats that Marlene fed. When I came to clean the pool, one Wednesday in July of 2004, about twenty or so of the cats scattered, but Smoky sat by the edge of the pool and didn’t move. Her eyes weren’t open yet and had yellow gunk weeping out around them. I thought she was born blind and I agonized about this for the next week. Why does God allow things like this to happen to innocent beings? The following Wednesday, all the cats scattered, but Smoky remained again and her eyes were open (and still nasty). There might as well been a sign in the sky, “Take the cat!”. My next stop was Donald and Diane Dagley’s off Mayport Road at the end of 6th Street in Atlantic Beach. Diane gave me a cat carrier and I took Smoky home to Dolphin Cove. We took her to an emergency vet just across the bridge on Beach Boulevard. $800 later she had a colon cleanse, exam, and some medication, and we took her home. Long story short, Smoky recovered and had a good long cat life. After our dog Rocky passed away in 1998, I swore I wouldn’t have any more pets. It was just too hard to lose them. I don’t feel like I had a choice in this case. Smoky weighed 8 ounces at the time and would fit completely in Karen’s hand. She was probably only a couple of weeks old when we got her. She reached about 8# as an adult cat.
She and Sadie the dog got along good too. After so many years they pretty much ignored each other. Peaches the coon hound mix, wasn’t too interested in her. Zola, the pit bull mix, well, that’s another story. Zola has serious prey instinct and likes chickens and cats. We’ve had several talks about this. There is a connected lineage of our cats and dogs. Smoky knew Suki, Karen’s cat, Sadie, Karen’s dog knew Smoky, Zola (dog) knew Peaches.
In Dolphin Cove, Ponte Vedra, Smoky would jump up to the top of the kitchen cabinets over the refrigerator and lie on her back. I would blow on her and she would flip out turning over and pawing at me. She really enjoyed it. She also liked to play Where’s Smoky? We would throw the covers of the bed over her and say, “Where’s Smoky?” and pull the covers off. We could do this for a while and she really got into it. Like most cats, Smoky liked to push things off a ledge or table. You could replace an item pushed off and she would push it off again. She would keep it up as long as you could. She also liked to watch basketball on television.
When Sadie Hawkins, the Mountain Feist dog came into our lives from the Paws shelter in Clayton, Georgia, in 2014, Smoky would chase her around the back yard in Dolphin Cove, Ponte Vedra. We have videos. Sadie was not a year old yet, and Smoky was ten and had lots of spunk left in her. Sadie did most of the running around, while Smoky mostly held her ground and hissed and pawed at Sadie. It is hilarious to watch the videos. Karen has them in her files.
When we cut her toenails, she would reach out with one or both of her front legs in a futile attempt to get us to stop. She was actually pretty compliant most of the time. If she was in a bad mood, she would hiss and howl, and we would put off nail trimming. When she reached out with her paw(s), we called it the paw(s) of pity.
Smoky liked to drink a lot of water. She had some kidney issues. She particularly like fresh cool, clean water. She would paw at her bowl to make ripples so she could see her water better. Sometimes I would throw a couple of ice cubes in her water bowl so she could see better and to cool it down. She would walk up to a bowl of water and meow to get someone to throw it out and replace it with fresh water. She could jump up to a ledge in either our upstairs or downstairs bathroom in the mountains. When she couldn’t jump up any more, she would sit next to the lavatory and meow to get lifted up to the sink. Then she liked to drink running water from the faucet.
When Smoky was younger, she didn’t like sneezing. If anyone close to her or even not that close, sneezed, she would run away. Sometime she would jump up in the air before fleeing. She would hunch her body together when she jumped and sometimes twist to another direction before coming down.
Smoky liked to watch tv sometimes, especially basketball games. She would jump up on the table the television set was on and bat at the players moving across the screen.
When Smoky wanted to go out at night, we would tell her “Nothing good happens after dark.” Most of the time we would put up with her meowing and not let her out.

Mon, Jan 23, 2023 When Smokey and I would come up here (to the mountains) in the winter, I would always light a fire. She would sit and watch the fire for a long time. Her favorite spot was on the side of the wood stove where she would put her feet under the stove. - Karen
Adventures: Towards the end (2022), Smoky wandered off twice. One night about 3 am she went to our neighbor Sonny’s deck where he and his friends were partying. She escaped our house through a screen that Zola (the dog) had torn loose. She stayed with the boys for a while, ate some fish and came home. This was probably around 100 yards from our house to Sonny’s. I woke up to Smoky and Zola having a staring contest outside my office door on the deck. I let Smoky in - no harm no foul. A few nights earlier, Smoky woke me up yowling around 2 am. She was standing by the front door to the cabin. I grabbed some shoes and a flashlight and followed her down the Tibble’s driveway to the Foster’s driveway. When she started down the Foster’s drive, I picked her up and walked home. It’s not a good idea around here to go on someone else’s property without being asked or letting them know, especially in the middle of the night. This was about a 300 yard jaunt. She settled in once we got home and did not howl any more that night. As she got towards the end, she knew something was off. She couldn’t jump up any more and had gone deaf the year before. She was a trooper all the way to the end. She made the best of her life and didn’t complain. Her digestive system shut down and the vet put her down in 2022. God bless Smoky.
